Your therapist’s reading list
In no particular order, here are some of the self-help or adjacent books I have read and loved:
Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving by Pete Walker: An explanation of common effects of trauma, and strategies for feeling better.
Urban Tantra: Sacred Sex for the Twenty-First Century by Barbara Carrellas: an approachable guide to Tantra that is not too woo-woo, and gives practical advice about enhancing sexuality in creative ways through breath and connection.
How to Avoid Falling in Love with a Jerk by John Van Epp: a step by step guide focused on building a relationship in the right order: Know, Trust, Rely, Commit. One caveat—the author is religious, and although that isn’t terribly overbearing for most of the book, the “last” step is Touch, and it ends up having some backwards ideas about sex. You can just skip the ending and miss most of this problem.
No Bad Parts by Richard Schwartz: Excellent inroduction to Internal Family Systems (parts work). This book is GREAT on audiobook, because they read transcripts of therapy sessions and do meditations timed out for you to try them yourself.
Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life by Emily Nagoski: excellent guide to problems of sex—mostly geared towards women, although really applicable to many people. A lot of good info about desire and why we stop wanting sex as much as we’d like to.
Polysecure by Jessica Fern: The new bible of polyamory, and a great primer to polyamory and attachment.
The Dance of Anger: A Woman’s Guide to Changing the Patterns of Intimate Relationships by Harriet Lerner: A practical exploration of how women are encouraged to ignore their anger, and how to stop overfunctioning for others and underfunctioning for ourselves.
Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence by Esther Perel; Can we desire what we already have in romantic relationships?
The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity by Esther Perel; More on modern love and expectations in our romantic life.
The Ethical Slut, Third Edition: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships, and Other Freedoms in Sex and Love by Janet W. Hardy and Dossie Easton; The ins and outs of ethical consensual non-monogamy.
Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Love and Life from Dear Sugar by Cheryl Strayed; An alternative to Dear Abby, profound and deeply touching.
Women, Food, and God by Geneen Roth; Mindfulness to heal disordered eating.
Awakening the Buddha Within by Llama Surya Das; Intro to Buddhism for a lay person.
How to Change Your Mind by Michael Pollan; Current and historical research on psychedelics as medicine in psychology, transformative experiences in well people.
The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk; How trauma affects humans.
The Guide to Getting it On by Paul Joannides; Overview of everything sex.
The Seven Principals for Making Marriages Work by John Gottman; Basics skills and pitfalls in relationships.
Meditation for Fidgety Skeptics by Dan Harris; Self explanatory title. Humorous and light, an easy read.
Women Who Run With the Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estes; Deep exploration of emotional lives of women via folk tales.